Elsa Bean

Wind of Change

2008-03-29T16:20:00.000-07:00

Hey homies. As Klaus Meine of the Scorpions so eloquently once sang:

Take me to the magic of the moment

On a glory night

Where the children of tomorrow dream away

On the wind of change

Winds change. Times change. This is my last Elsa Bean post. The family unit is switching over to http://www.hawkchilds.blogspot.com/ because Dad says he can't help me like he used to. He says I can talk for myself now, but I don't know what he means- that's all I've been doing on this blog for the past three years and 184 posts!

Bye everybody.

Big Sister

2008-03-27T15:27:00.000-07:00

I think I could get used to this.

Mum and Henry came home Tuesday morning. Dad has been home from work and it's been a lot of fun. Although they both come running whenever I lean over Henry and coo and rub his forehead. I'm getting used to it, and learning the rules: (1) stay away from his head (2) repeat "I'm a big sister now!" so that I can get more hugs and (3) stay away from his head.

Henry's Birthday

2008-03-24T12:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was Henry's birthday, because, well, he was born yesterday. He's my new little brother.

We woke up on Sunday morning and Dad let me hunt for Easter eggs for about 20 seconds before Derek arrived. He and Carol took care of me in the morning while Mum and Dad went to the hospital. When we arrived later there he was: Henry David. He is 8 lbs 7 oz, has light blond hair, and looks a lot like me.

When Claire came to visit I yelled at the top of my voice, "CLAIRE, NOW I HAVE A BABY BROTHER JUST LIKE YOU!!"

At the end of the night Mum stayed in the hospital with Henry, and Dad and I went home. He made me chicken fingers and we watched Backyardigans in front of the TV!

At 3AM I crawled into bed with him. In the morning I woke him up and said, "Dad! Now there are four of us!" He started crying-I don't know why, I meant it in a good way.

Bye Bye Belle

2008-03-19T09:53:00.000-07:00

I got to sit next to Belle at the cast lunch between Saturday shows. The show was a big success, here are pics:

http://www.pbase.com/kmckee/beauty

Beauty and the Beast

2008-03-13T12:23:00.000-07:00

Dad took his cast to the primary school in Victor and they signed autographs for everybody. Here they are: Lumiere, the Beast, Belle, Gaston, and Villager #3.

I like Gaston.

There's a prince under that Beast.

Largemouth Bass-inet

2008-03-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

I'm a largemouth bass now. I don't think I can fit into this, must be for our baby that's due to arrive April 6th.

When I run into Mum and Dad's bed in the morning to play Pirate Ship I'm always careful not to step on Mum's tummy. There's a baby in there!

Holy Chute

2008-02-24T17:28:00.000-08:00

Keep feet in front.

Hold onto the sides.

Use friction to decrease speed.

Keep head back.

Feet up at the end.

Hit the landing.

Ignore Dad.

Someday My Prince Will Come

2008-02-14T14:50:00.000-08:00

If he likes the Snow White top with brown tights and red pumps. Dad says that all Disney's princesses gain their identity through men and that I shouldn't allow myself to be objectified.

I just bring up the fact that he is losing sleep and stressing out over the musical Beauty and the Beast that he's directing at school.

Ben's Chili Bowl

2008-01-30T19:06:00.000-08:00

Dad was in DC this weekend, and told me all kinds of great stories when he got home. They were all about Riley.

"Uncle Dweyemy, can you read Little Bear to me?" Dad gave Riley an anthology of Big Bear Little Bear stories so I bet she was psyched. He also told me that he read her two stories the Friday night he was there, and by Sunday night Uncle Ben said she asked to "look at the menu" which was the table of contents. She must be pretty smart. Dad told me he never mentioned the "menu" or "table of contents" so nice job, way to go Riley.

I missed those cheese fries though dude-and the chili dog. Dad said a chili dog portion, no matter what the size, is always too small.

What an intellect is he.

Claire

2008-01-22T17:40:00.000-08:00

Claire has the coolest clothes. Look at that sweater. She is going to be a big sister like me. Tanya is due in like a couple of weeks.

Matchbox City

2008-01-12T17:13:00.000-08:00

I heard Dad say the other day, "Tinkerbell costume? Best present ever. Better than...Matchbox City."

Dad got "Matchbox City" in 1978. Uncle Chris made it for him for Dad's matchbox cars, on a sheet of plywood. It had a two-story parking garage with a working car elevator, model train-style trees that bordered the parkways, and a skyscraper with a patio on the roof. Dad said Bumpa and Judy threw it away when he was in college but kept the "Welcome to Matchbox City" sign and put it in his Christmas stocking. He said he never felt so betrayed. Maybe my tinkerbell costume has helped to dim that awful memory.

Vegetarian for Life

2008-01-05T13:20:00.000-08:00

"Dad I don't wanna hold up my T-bone! It's too cold and it's hurting my fingers!"

This got a little weird. I just kept smiling until he took the photo.

Candlelight Dinner

2008-01-04T18:03:00.000-08:00

Usually on Fridays Mum and Dad have a candlelight dinner, but Mum is still in Pittsburgh, SO! Dad and I had one. He made T-bones, peas, and "Potatoes Nicolas Sarkozy" (he's a big fan of inventive potato dishes and the new French President). Dad said he grated russet potatoes, dried them in the oven at 200 degrees, then mixed them with eggs, nutmeg, and rolled them into tiny balls and pan-fried them in oil. I don't know. I was in the other room for only 20 minutes while he was making them, watching Yuletide Wiggles, and then I walk in to "Potatoes Sarkozy"? I was suspicious so I checked the garbage. And saw the Ore-Ida Tater Tot bag. Sorry Dad.

But nice touch with the candles. And the peas were microwaved to perfection.

P.S. I Love You

2008-01-01T17:51:00.000-08:00

Mum left for Pittsburgh today, in her PITTSBURGH CAR! But Dad told me it was only a rental. She's going to be there for a week. So, Dad did some quick diversion, and at bedtime, blasted the Supremes and hopped into the tub with me and I helped him shave. I got out and we both smelled like Aqua Velva, but I guess that's OK. We watched the first half of Open Season (a new movie I got for Christmas) and then read three chapters of Winnie-the-Pooh. We found out how Pooh got his name- his nose was itchy but his arms were stuck in the air, so he tried to blow on his nose- "pooh-pooh-pooh!" Very interesting, said Dad.

The Badgers lost in the Outback Bowl. Dad said we'll never eat at Outback Steakhouse again! But I don't think we ever have!

I had a good time today, but Dad watched a little too much football. Mum- he even brought out my little chair and we had ham, fritos, and carrot sticks while we watched.

Bye, Mum- see you Monday!

P.S. I Love You!

Bloomin' Christmas!

2007-12-27T10:57:00.000-08:00

"Mummy! Mum! MUUUUUM! Look what I can do! Look! LOOOOK! MUUUUM!"

"Dad, let's play the cootie game!"

"Mum! Quick! Hide! Daddy's coming!"

"Mum, can I eat breh-fest? Mum? MUUUM!

"Dad, wanna see my new dance move? Look. Dad! LOOOK!"

"Can I wear tights wif a dress?"

"Look what I can do."

I'm Three

2007-12-15T05:49:00.000-08:00

I turned three yesterday. We made pancakes at school and everyone made a card for me. At the end of the day, right before I left, all my friends gave me big hugs. Gigi sent me this beautiful purse. Robbie sent me a barbecue. Dad gave me a tennis racquet.

I had hot dogs for dinner.

Wilbert's

2007-12-09T17:37:00.000-08:00

Ever since I was born (three years- what a tradition!) Dad has bought our Christmas tree at Wilbert's Tree Farm in Webster, NY. This is the first time Mum and I have gone along with him, and I think it might have thrown him off a bit. He was walking quickly toward the cheapest trees, but Mum and I wanted to hop on Santa's sleigh for a photo- check out Santa, what's up with him? Then we stopped at a "live nativity scene" where there were two goats and a donkey walking around these huge camel and wise men statues. I saw one of the goats eat a carrot.

We continued on, and made it to the cheap trees. Dad picked the first one he saw and we were out of there in like six minutes. Wilbert's is also a GM used parts dealership so he said we might come back and get a new rear gate for the Oads.

We decorated the tree and it is really awesome. My favorite decoration is a photo, framed in toothpicks, of Dad when he was little- he's dressed up as a gnome!

Thanksgiving Day Menu

2007-11-30T07:24:00.001-08:00

Fennel and Pear Salad

Green Beans with Shallots

Roast Turkey brined, and stuffed with lemon and herbs and smoke-grilled

Dad's Best Gravy Everrrrr he put some dry sherry in there

Mashed Potatoes

Black Cherry Jell-o with Hurd Orchard Cherries that I picked this past summer!

Cranberry Sorbet Marcus and Dad churned the sorbet while they played electric guitar in the basement. They're funny guys.

Hiding

2007-11-15T10:17:00.000-08:00

Lately, whenever Mum or Dad get home, I run and hide. Sometimes I hide in the living room under the coffee table, sometimes I just cover my face wherever I am, and sometimes I hide under the table in the kitchen. Sometimes Mum hides with me, like in this photo.

When I hear their footsteps I yell, "Dad, say Where did Elsa goed?"

Busted

2007-11-08T09:57:00.000-08:00

Last night, as we pulled away from the KFC drive-thru (Dad loves his KFC), I asked Dad for my fries. Mum, who I don't think has ever been in a drive-thru, pointed out the fact that Dad didn't order any fries, so why would I ask for them? Then it dawned on her. She looked at Dad and yelled, "Busted!"

Dad squirmed,"We've only gone, like, two times sweetheart, and it was to Wendy's. It just smells like fries in here because of the chicken."

"I like chicken," I said.

Dad handed me a biscuit. "It's past your bedtime and you already ate, you can have some of this."

It was good- salty and buttery and warm.

Dad's Cholesterol

2007-11-04T00:20:00.000-07:00

Dad keeps an eye on his cholesterol and eats a heart healthy diet that is low in saturated fat and sodium. That's why I don't know what is going on in this photo. His look of glee and anticipation is apparent, and Uncle B looks very intent on eating those smoked pork chops. What worries me is the lack of vegetables in the photo, except for the chipotles on the right.

Car Party

2007-10-27T18:43:00.000-07:00

That's me behind Mum on the left. Hudson and Lily were in the backseat with me. We were totally partying back there, with three carseats, listening to Wease on CMF and singing along to Zeppelin. We were on our way to an apple orchard where we had donuts and cider and got to pet donkeys.

Holden Caulfield

2007-10-18T18:17:00.000-07:00

What really knocks me out is a playground, when you're all done playing in it, you wished the architect that designed it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it.

Some Good Titles

2007-10-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

These are some of my favorite books right now, and Dad likes them too. He likes them because they aren't all about the artist or the writer, they try to sneak in a little learning, and use repetition to establish character.

OK everybody- here's what's on my nightstand:

A Father Like That by Charlotte Zolotow (made Dad cry)

When Autumn Comes by Robert Maas (try to find the hidden Lowenbrau)

The Cowboy ABC by Chris Demarest

Froggy Rides a Bike by Jonathan London (he also writes nature themed books which rock- Sled Dog, Jackrabbit, Loon Lake, Sled Dogs Run)

Mouse Practice by Emily McCully (I have all of Monk's lines memorized)

The Adventures of Max and Pinky: Best Buds by Maxwell Eaton III

The Adventures of Bert by Raymond Briggs (when that sausage stars chasing Bert I just crack up)

and our current fave:

THE ABSENTMINDED FELLOW (FROM PORTOBELLO ROAD) by Samuel Marshak

Dance Party

2007-09-30T07:16:00.000-07:00

Our dance parties are turning into all-out rock fests. Dad and I stop dancing and just pump our arms. Especially when the music rocks so much- like here, listening to Badfinger's "Baby Blue".

Duncan Donuts

2007-09-23T15:55:00.000-07:00

We went apple picking with Duncan, Angus, and Nina today. Duncan threw out his back the other day and was hobbling around with crutches all afternoon. I felt bad for him.

Duncan makes Mum and Dad laugh like really hard. He asked me today if I had ever done the "Green Apple Two-Step". I think that means when you get the trots from eating too many. We drove the Oads around the orchard and Duncan told Dad that he loved the "455 Air-Conditioning" (four windows open when you're going 55 miles per hour). At the end of the day we all got donuts from the shop and when we got outside Angus was unhappy with his flavor so Duncan told him to run back in, tell them he was a Cub Scout, and exchange it.

I had a bit of the "Green Apple Two-Step" when we got home.

Rosemary

2007-09-18T18:00:00.000-07:00

Dad dried rosemary in the attic, and then we took it off the stems, crushed it, and put it in jars. He said we're going to make some awesome dry rubs. (I was like, what are you talking about?)

Dad said that the Oregon rosemary that Hazel sent (thanks Gigi!) dried better. He said his got sort of gray and shrivelled. After about ten minutes of work the rosemary started to stick to my fingers. I got bored and started to sit in it and Dad told me to go eat a tomato.

Bertman's with a Usinger

2007-09-16T05:39:00.000-07:00

Usually I only put ketchup on my hot dog and have to endure Dad's Dirty Harry impression: "Nobody, I mean nobody, puts ketchup on a hotdog!" But yesterday we received some mustard IN THE MAIL, from Bumpa and Judy. It was Bertman's ball park mustard from Cleveland and it was absolutely de-LISH! Dad got some Usinger's out of the freezer and we almost ate a whole pack, the two of us, for lunch with Bertman's slathered all over each bite.

Mum's a Good Driver

2007-09-06T18:27:00.000-07:00

...except when she runs over my bike. It was in the garage on the right hand side and Mum ran over the wheel when she pulled in. She only did because she has to steer clear of Dad's grill brushes, bags of charcoal, wood chips, newspaper for the chimney, lighter, and all these other grill things on that side. It's not Mum's fault- Dad was the one who put my bike in front of all that stuff and blocked her way.

He got it at VOA and came home VERY proud of the fact that he spent $8. I was like, thanks a lot, jeez... but it is, or was, a sweet bike. We went to Towners to get training wheels. It took Dad about two hours to get them on right and then we only rode the bike for ten minutes because his back started to hurt.

In confidence, he told me that he would have probably run over the whole bike if he had been driving. He was serious too, he was whispering. He said he's not a "very strong" driver. And he's not, you should see some of the dents on the Oads from pulling in and out of the garage. And don't even bring up the bike-on-the-roof-rack incident.

Popsicle Party

2007-09-01T18:09:00.000-07:00

Dad, Mike, and I have had a popsicle party everyday now for the past three days. After my nap, I look out my window and I see Mike working on his roof. Then Dad comes up and asks if I want to have a popsicle party.

Then, we (1) go downstairs, (2) I ask Mike if he wants to have a popsicle, then (3) I ask him what flavor he wants, and then (4) I tell Dad what flavor he wants and then (5) what flavor I want. Then (6) Dad gets the popsicles and (7) we sit in a circle outside and (8) read the jokes that are on the popsicle sticks.

Root beer is my favorite flavor. Dad likes orange, but I don't know about Mike. He eats a different flavor everyday.

Elephant Memory

2007-08-27T18:59:00.000-07:00

I can remember lots of things. We met Beth's three horses at her house last month, and on the way back there last weekend Mum and Dad were trying to remember their names. They got two of them, Raz and Blizzard- and then spent like ten miles trying to think of the third. Finally I just yelled, "Jem!" Because that's its name and they were driving me crazy.

Then another time, when I was eating this ice cream cone, I started talking about the Sponge Bob cone I had in Brooklyn at the public pool and the fact that it had eyes made of gum and Mum and Dad say I can't eat gum until I go to college. Well, they thought that recollection was (again) so...AMAZING. Whatever.

OK, so I admit, I can sing 3/4s of the Mets theme song, speak like Froggy in Froggy Has a Sleepover, and I pronounce Ray Davies last name correctly- with a soft S at the end. But does that mean I have an elephant memory?

Duck Sheet

2007-08-23T11:00:00.000-07:00

Markus and I finally got a little ALONE time on Sunday afternoon, even though Mum, Dad, and Adina followed us all afternoon. We went out for breakfast, ate ice cream, and fed the ducks on the canal. I tried to throw the food at the baby ducks but I kept hitting Markus's feet. I'm not that good at throwing things.

There was a plastic cup with some green slime in it and I tried to pick it up, but Mum said no. She said it was duck sheet.

Separated at Birth: Part 6

2007-08-20T06:32:00.000-07:00

When Adina was here she taught me some swimming moves and called me Esther Williams. So I looked her up and found a photo. Look-we have very similar suits! I had Dad Netflix Dangerous When Wet and Million Dollar Mermaid.

Making Brioche

2007-08-17T07:20:00.000-07:00

Here I am at the Children's Museum trying to make my favorite brioche. But they didn't have a terrine mold, or apple juice (which is my secret ingredient, I put in to make it a little sweet and tangy), and there wasn't enough time to let it rise for three hours. I tried to call Dad but Mum didn't have her cell.

Corn on the Boo-Boo

2007-08-13T06:29:00.000-07:00

How many ears do you think we can eat? If we keep splitting them I think we can eat six.

Blizzard

2007-08-01T19:12:00.000-07:00

We went to Beth's and I got to ride on a tractor, look for bass in a pond, sit on this sweet little Yamaha 100cc, feed horses, have fruit snacks, and ride Blizzard. Blizzard was OK until she started moving a lot and that kind of freaked me out. What is she? Like a mini-horse, or a mini-donkey? Mum and Dad need to expose me to more nature.

Daddy's Girls

2007-07-31T16:22:00.000-07:00

Dad wanted me to post this so he can look at it this week, because he might not make it to Portland. Mum and I just left this morning. We get to hang out with Gigi and BooBoo all week!

Comin' BooBoo!

"Hold 'em down you Zulu Warrior!

Hold 'em down you Zulu Chief Chief Chief!"

The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3

2007-07-28T07:30:00.000-07:00

On our way home from the wedding we stopped and saw Katharine, Matt, Jackson, and Wesley. Matt has an R2D2 smoker, just like Dad's, and when we arrived he was cooking ribs. Katharine gave me two super cool books and a puzzle. We played wiffle ball, I got to sleep in Wesley's Big Boy Bed, and I made friends with a penguin.

Flower Girl

2007-07-25T07:28:00.000-07:00

I was a flower girl at Markus and Adina's wedding this past weekend. Here they are at Brooklyn City Hall tying the knot. I am in the back running around. I did a lot of running around, and when it was time to go to the party, I crashed. So, Dad stayed home with me and we went out for pizza at his favorite place (Lenny's on 5th ave and 17th st- BROOKLYN IN DA HOUSE!) and then went home and watched Meerkat Manor and worked on our Meerkat impersonations.

Ben

2007-07-18T06:44:00.000-07:00

That Ben, he's a funny guy. He read Angelina Ballerina to me when he visited. Here we are, in my Big Girl Bed, having a laugh at the part when Angelina tips over her mother's cheddar cheese pies. Ol' Ben does all these wacky voices with the characters. Although, he does go a little bit overboard with characterization at times, and I look at him and think what is he doing, does he really think that's funny? But I don't say anything. Dad tells me to just keep smiling and laughing.

Riley is a Modern Day Mark Spitz

2007-07-10T13:15:00.000-07:00

This is my cousin Riley. She is very adventurous. Mum, Dad, and I have been going to the lake a lot, but I kept freaking out when we got close to the water. When we went with Ben, Colleen, and Riley, Riley ran into the water and started swimming with a little help from Ben. She even dunked her head under! I was impressed. So, about 20 minutes later I gave it a try and it was really fun and I cried when we left.

Beef Summer

2007-07-09T16:51:00.000-07:00

Dad brought home some summer sausage from Minneapolis. He made it with Uncle B and Corrie. Look at those sweet mahogany casings. Uncle B has a sausage making store like, three minutes from his house. Dad has to get all his in Buffalo.

They made more than summer sausage though, there were bratwursts, kielbasa, hot Italians, and some of Uncle B's home smoked ham in the cooler they shipped home. B has a smoker and one day on his trip they sat by it and maintained a temp of 180 degrees for 8 hours. I wonder what they did all that time, just staring at the smoker? I think Mum knows.

All I can say is: Risk of Deliciousness? High to Extremely High.

Doubles

2007-06-26T09:57:00.001-07:00

Keep attacking the net Ava, just like you've been doing. My Dad's knee is killing him, so keep him moving! Also, keep hitting to your Dad's backhand.

OK, it's my serve, I'm going to try to jam them on my first, if that doesn't work I'll try my kick serve. We have these guys! They've got nothing! Keep battling! Just hit it back, all they do is commit unforced errors.

Sorry About That

2007-06-25T04:06:00.000-07:00

"Dad, remember when you pinched my fingers in the salad spinner?"

"Yes, Elsie. You were helping me clean the salad and we really got it spinning. Sorry about that."

"Remember when I fell and did a backflip off the big girl swing at Ribfest?"

"Yes, I remember that one."

"Remember when you let go of my balloon in Wegman's parking lot and we watched it sail away together?"

"Yes, that was sad."

"Remember playing tennis with Ava and Chris and one of your forehand shots whacked me in the forehead?"

"Yeah Else, you looked at me and said, 'Why Daddy?' Sorry about that."

Summer Ava

2007-06-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

Ava-

This Pirate's Booty is awesome. Mum has a whole bag in a cupboard in the kitchen, I know where it is.

Let's cook some grilled cheese on your play kitchen and take that car around the neighborhood. The one right behind me. Do you have the keys? Because I don't want my Dad to drive. He totally flipped me over last time I was at your house. We were coming back from the block drag race and he couldn't figure out the German engineering and we totally took a digger in the front yard. Bo and Mum were in the back so they missed it. Chris and you missed it too because you were like two laps ahead of us!

LOL. Friends 4EVER!

Polo Bear

2007-06-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

The polo bear at the zoo must have been hungry. I think he could smell my goldfish.

Red Osier

2007-06-03T19:35:00.000-07:00

Thank you Red Osier!

You are a Jewel of Western New York. Who knew that prime rib could be so tasty? We went to the original Red Osier restaurant on Friday night after a baseball game in Batavia (Victor lost the Section V A Championship 9-5). The restaurant was classic. Caesar's tossed tableside and a MOBILE prime rib cart where a guy cut it right at your table and he had some sweet AU JUS in a coffee thermos and poured it on your steak. You didn't even have to ask. It was like a given.

Dad ordered a 12 ounce portion and I ate about half of it. Pam, our waiter, pretty much wanted to go home like, the entire night. She was not having much fun. Although, she welcomed us to THE Red Osier, which I found interesting, because I think it's named after one guy, the founder or owner. She said, "My name is Pam, welcome to THE Red Osier." It's like his name had turned into this ultra prime rib brand name. It has a pretty sweet ring to it. "THE Red Osier". Because you can get Red Osier beef at like ballparks and stuff, but you can only visit THE Red Osier Restaurant.

That's me kissing the cow out front. On top of the cow, there is a tray with fake grapes, tomatoes, wine, and a big hunk of prime rib. It's kind of weird, because the cow is like serving itself on top of itself.

44 Pulls

2007-06-02T15:05:00.000-07:00

It took Dad 44 pulls this year to get the mower going for the first time. Last year it took 39. Mum and I watched him from the window. He told me it's a good thing he was a quarterback because he really needed a strong arm to get it going.

I was like Dad why don't you prime it a little bit and clean the filter? Hello?!

I Could Have Been a Contender

2007-05-24T19:32:00.000-07:00

"I could have been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am."

Is that the quote? I can't quite remember. I'm only 2 1/2 and Dad was watching the movie on Turner Movie Classics while I was playing with my doll Lucy.

I'm much better at "Yo, Adrian!"

What is up with Dad and his boxing movies? Rocky and On the Waterfront, Fat City with Stacy Keach (Mum loves that one too- "Hey Mister!"), Raging Bull and When We Were Kings. He hasn't seen Million Dollar Baby yet- oh man he starts talking about Clint Eastwood and I have to do the whole doyoufeelluckypunk-welldoya? monologue and then we get into Coogan's Bluff??? I'm only 2 1/2!

Separated at Birth: Part 5

2007-05-18T19:58:00.000-07:00

Donna Reed? I think Dad is just saying that so he can put a picture of her on my blog. Today he said I looked like a young Elizabeth Taylor, and I was like, "OK, that's it!"

Here she is circa 1953, when she won an Oscar for From Here to Eternity.

Pumps Lake

2007-05-13T18:40:00.000-07:00

When it rains, it pours. I don't think Mum and Dad knew they were getting lakefront property when they bought our house.

I christened it "Pumps Lake". It appears about once a year when it really really rains, and sticks around for a few days. Dad likes it, he says it keeps the lawn in top-notch shape. I like it because of the ducks. There are two, and I wave to them in the mornings.

My Reading List

2007-05-03T18:47:00.000-07:00

While Dad is slaving away on The Sound and the Fury Mum and I are reading Tom Rabbit. Tom Rabbit is a story about a toy rabbit that gets left outside one night. Dad says it sort of echoes the loss that Benjy feels (at the end of the book he's reading) when his big sister Caddy leaves.

Here is what I'm reading:

The Mighty Asparagus by Vladimir Radunsky

Subway Sparrow by Leyla Torres

Tom Rabbit
You and Me Little Bear ill. Barbara Firth

John, Paul, George, and Ben by Lane Smith

Because Your Daddy Loves You by Andrew Clements

Under New York by Linda Oatman High

Crow Boy by Taro Yashima

Kevin and His Dad by Irene Smalls and Michael Hays

Nova’s Ark by David Kirk

Poutine

2007-05-01T19:33:00.000-07:00

We were in St. Catherine's, Canada (EH!) this weekend to watch Brad and Brian play in a hockey tournament. I ordered poutine at this restaurant that was at the rink where they played. I only got a couple of bites in before I got distracted by two kids playing Air Hockey. When I got back to the table it was almost gone, and Dad looked a little bloated. Poutine is french fries with cheese and gravy on top. A pretty sweet combo that he says he will make for me when we get back to the USA!

U-S-A!

Maria!

2007-04-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

Dad would have made a great Tony in West Side Story but he had to direct it instead. Here he is with Maria on closing night.

Agnes DeMille, Martha Graham, Gene Kelly, blahblahblah...check out Dad's "Officer Krupke" on YouTube (he was very proud of his Jets):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=chYQdy-Zm-A

Bench Coach

2007-04-24T20:03:00.000-07:00

Hey Coach Mandile! Move that runner over- have that hitter drag bunt like Endy Chavez did last night against the Rockies. What? You're a YANKEES fan? Give me a break!

Put me in. But, ah...do you have a smaller bat?

Cuddlebean

2007-04-22T11:59:00.000-07:00

First Dad says I'm the cutest girl in the world then he looks at this picture and he says its a tie between me and Mum. Or that I'm a "close second"! Then he winks at me and whispers that I'm the cutest but then Mum says, "I heard that!" and Dad starts to look very exasperated.

So he yells, "GROUP HUG!"

Nazdorovya!

2007-04-15T18:41:00.000-07:00

Boo-Boo, Mum, and I went to the zoo and saw two rhinos, two elephants eating salads, four tigers, a snowy owl, two sea lions swimming, some squirrels, and a sparrow. Boo-boo was here all weekend. We read books, went to the gym, drove to Brockport once, and he sang me a song about a Zulu Chief and taught me how to tango.

'Cause I'm the Taxman!

2007-04-11T17:28:00.000-07:00

Yeah the TAXMAN!

And you're working for no one but me!

Let me tell you how it will be

TAXMAN!

There's one for you nineteen for me

TAXMAN!

What? David isn't the taxman? I thought you said...oh. He's just preparing our taxes. He isn't THE MAN! Oh I get it. We LIKE David.

Hi David!

Now my advice for those who die

Declare the pennies on your eyes!

'Cause I'm the taxman!

Yeah THE TAXMAN!

Senior Picture

2007-03-27T19:08:00.000-07:00

OK, so I know I have 16 years to decide, but I don't know! Funny or semi-serious? I mean, like all of my friends are going to get this photo and have it forever and ever, and even some of my teachers!

I already know what I am going to write on the back of Ava's-

Ava- Friends 4-ever! U have the cutest clothes! When will your Dad and my Dad play tennis again? That was fun when we were ballgirlzz. Did u see last night's episode of Grey's Anatomy? I can't believe that show has been on for 16 years!- luv E

Big Weekend

2007-03-25T18:31:00.000-07:00

There was lots to do this weekend: Ava's birthday party, reading Tom Rabbit with Dad, running around in the background looking for mouse houses, singing my new favorite song Stop! In the Name of Love, riding my tricycle (Dad fixed the wheel with duct tape), and hanging out with my posse at KidTown. By the time Sunday came around I was so wired that I couldn't nap- but I fell asleep in the car at 6PM. Mum put me on the floor for a ten-minute power nap, with my coat still on and everything.

Slumber PARTY!

2007-03-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

Dylan was over the other night for a slumber party. We had dinner together, read books, and ran around. Dad said Dylan is a good reader. He sat by Dad and listened to a whole book, and repeated passages at various points.

Dad may be a bit frustrated because lately I've demanded to do all the reading, even though I don't know how to yet. But I can only look for Goldbug in those Richard Scarry books so many times.

Aveda Pampering

2007-03-18T08:30:00.000-07:00

The gals at the local Aveda salon are fantastic. I especially liked the volumizing tonic they gave me. Usually, they don't use it for first-time-ever haircuts, but I'd been waiting 27 months for this moment, so they pampered me a bit. Their sap moss nourishing concentrate also worked wonders. I can't believe how soft my hair is now.

Olive Fingers

2007-03-03T11:43:00.000-08:00

I can down ten olives in one sitting. Here I am halfway through.

Family Photo

2007-02-25T16:59:00.000-08:00

Dad wanted to go to Sears and get a professional photographer to take a family photo of us with a cool backdrop like a western backdrop or clouds or balloons or something. But Mum and I wanted to take it on the floor of the kitchen so Dad said OK.

Here we are! Last night while Mum was working Dad and I grilled chicken wings and "lamburgers" (as he is very proud to call them). Whenever he would flip the meat I laughed because the fire got really hot and the flames leaped up. It was fun for about five minutes but then it got cold. It was like 15 degrees out there. Dad said I was soft because I never lived in Minny-apples-is.

Oregon Rosemary

2007-02-19T20:01:00.000-08:00

Gigi and Boo-Boo sent a big box of rosemary. Dad put it into lamb kebabs today and brought some to school to "scent" his classroom. I'm afraid all of his students think he is a nerd.

And that hat! He wears it around the house, yodeling Jimmie Rodgers songs. I think he might even wear it to school sometimes. That can't help him with his street cred, either.

Dad's Sad Part 2

2007-02-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

February 3: The Bears are in the Super Bowl, and Dad's going to BockFest to see Uncle B in two weeks.

February 16: The Bears have lost to some AFC team and his BockFest flight is cancelled because of weather.

February 17: Everything's OK because we're playing "BEAUTIFUL PRINCESS vs. FATHER FIGURE who destroys her relationship with YOUNG PRINCE."

Dad was really looking forward to his trip to Minny-apples-is. We called Uncle B, like four times on Saturday.

Snow Day!

2007-02-14T06:28:00.000-08:00

School was cancelled today. The snow is almost as tall as me! It took Dad about a half hour to shovel the driveway. I watched him through the window as I ate my oatmeal. Then we went out to play but the snow kept blowing into my face and my mittens kept falling off.

Happy Birthday Bumpa!

2007-02-06T11:35:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday Bumpa!

Happy Birthday to Bumpa!

Happy Birthday to You!

Dad's Sad

2007-02-06T11:32:00.000-08:00

I finally can say "Da Bears!" with a great George Wendt accent- and all it does it make Dad sad! He was lovin' it last week! I think something bad happened on Sunday night.

It's a Wonderful Life

2007-01-28T05:54:00.000-08:00

"Teacher says, everytime a bell rings, an angel gets his wings."

"That's right, Zuzu."

We are the Bears Shufflin' Crew!

2007-01-22T18:13:00.000-08:00

Bernard Berrian can really jump high. I was like, "Dad, why doesn't he play in the NBA?" But Dad was so excited about the Bears NFC Championship and was on the phone with Uncle Chris and Uncle Ben all night long.

I'm the Funky 'Lil E known as the Bean
I know the Bears they are the team
To beat the Colts this Super Bowl Year
And make sure that Dad don't cry no tears

Jay Hil-gen-berg is Uncle Ben's guy
Bumpa always talks of Gale Sayers thighs
Chris was lost with the Broncos in the 90s
But deep down loves the Bears because of their orange and blue tighties

My Dad he wears his Gross-man jersey
Even when Rex goes 13 for 30
There's been 20 QBs since Favre's been at Lambeau
Retiring this year Page? Oh yeah- I think so!

I'm the Funky 'Lil E known as the Bean
I know the Bears they are the team
To beat the Colts this Super Bowl Year
And make sure that Dad don't cry no tears!

Owen Wilson?

2007-01-16T19:42:00.000-08:00

No, just Owen Wilson's Nose. Look at that schnozz! If I turn to the left it's like I'm hanging out with Jimmy Durante.

So Tired

2007-01-15T19:20:00.000-08:00

Uncle Chris and Brad visited us this weekend. Brad had a hockey tournament in Detroit so they came to see us for a couple of days. It was a total surprise- Dad hadn't planned for it so he had to defrost a lot of sausage in a hurry.

They were here for the Bears' first playoff game which was a real emotional deal for Chris and Dad. We played basketball outside. I had to say goodbye to Mum for a week because she had to go to a conference. Here I am with Chris- so tired! I had my favorite cupcake pajamas on and Chris gave me a cuddle and Dad played guitar for me and I slept for like 12 hours.

Cody's Sleeping

2007-01-07T19:16:00.000-08:00

Neighbors Sue and Jim leave for their winter retreat in Florida next week, which happens to coincide with Cody's winter hibernation. They gave me a mini-Cody though, and he sleeps in my bed next to Baa, Cow, Loon, Eeyore, Gary, and Earl.

Guitar Heroes!

2007-01-06T07:52:00.000-08:00

Here we are in the middle of the Hokey Pokey, about to put our backside in and our backside out and our backside in again and then shake it all about. Dad is on rhythm guitar and Crazy Uncle Rob on lead. Uncle Rob can really shred.

Swans! Swans! 1-2-3!

2006-12-26T08:51:00.000-08:00

All these swans are here with me!

On Christmas Day we went to the beach and saw swans swimming in Lake Ontario. They looked really cold. We looked for Canada across the lake and Dad said, "Do you think we could see the coastline of Canada if it wasn't so cloudy? Canadians hanging out at the beach drinking their Labatts?"

Then he whispered to me, "Elsie, on a clear day you can see forever! Don't ever forget that, sweetie." I looked at Mum and rolled my eyes.

Mum changed the subject by singing the swan song again.

"Swans! Swans! 1-2-3! All these swans are here with me!"

The Christmas Stove

2006-12-23T18:41:00.000-08:00

"Is it very much farther Peteli?" Trudi asked. "I don't believe I can make my feet go ten more steps!"

We read the first two sentences from this book, The Christmas Stove, and Dad says, "Elsa, I have something in my eye..." and left me to finish it. I was like, wha? -I can't read! Then Mummy came in and said that Dad's Mum (Grandma Judy) used to read it to him when he was little.

I tried but I CAN'T READ! And there aren't that many pictures so I can't even like pretend to know the plot.

One Finger Plus One Finger Equals Two Fingers

2006-12-21T17:27:00.000-08:00

I had a birthday party on Saturday. I'm two!

I'm getting really good with numbers, and can count to ten: One...two...three...three...one!

Major Tom

2006-12-11T19:18:00.000-08:00

Ground Control to Major Tom

Take your protein pills and put your helmet on

1...Ground Control...2...to Major Tom...3...

4...Commencing...5... countdown engines on...6...

Check ignition and may GOD'S LOVE BE WITH YOU!

Separated at Birth: Part 4

2006-12-07T18:50:00.000-08:00

Rita Hayworth? C'mon Dad, I don't see it. I know you're a big fan of Gilda but jeez. It was romantic when you told me that the first time you met Mum you thought Mum looked like her.

Note to Parents

2006-12-04T18:12:00.000-08:00

Do not allow your child to dance while you cut her fingernails. I may look like Rod Stewart but I don't want to dance like him while Dad brandishes a sharp instrument. Here I am on my second boo-boo pack.

Malfi

2006-12-02T20:03:00.000-08:00

Uncle Rob has made a bunch of new friends in New York. I'm happy for him. He invited this guy named Malfi over for dinner because he was from out of town and had nowhere to go. I must say, he was a little strange. Rob had to hold him up so he could talk, but the problem was, he never said anything. He just stared at people. And when no one was holding him he would fall over on his side and not move. Rob kept trying to include him and was really nice, but it was uncomfortable.

To be honest, I hope Rob doesn't invite him up for Christmas.

Googled

2006-12-02T19:28:00.000-08:00

Google bought blogger.com and now my images won't load right. I knew THE MAN would find me!

Separated at Birth: Part 3

2006-11-30T19:13:00.000-08:00

First Dad says I look like Orson Welles. Then Linda Lavin from Alice. Now he' s on this Faces kick and thinks I look like Rod Stewart, circa 1972. I didn't believe him until I saw this photo of me with Patrick. Patrick has this really cool Ronnie Wood thing going, and here he's doing the rock start thing and I'm going along with him.

Dad keeps strutting around the house like a peacock and singing the Faces' song, "Bad 'n Ruin" and getting me to do The Elsa.

Food Service in Brooklyn

2006-11-28T18:27:00.000-08:00

Let's see...no, looks like there is not quite enough butter on that, Adina. Take it back. I don't actually eat the toast, you know. I lick the butter off of it and then ask for more. Has Markus started the coals yet? The potatoes look like they are done. Could I have some more kielbasa?

No Exit Strategy

2006-11-27T18:42:00.000-08:00

OK. Dad picks me up at school and keeps saying, "We're going to go see the lights! He finished them today! We're going to go see the lights!"

And I'm like, whatever, OK, Christmas lights, blah blah blah. We drive home, get our warm clothes on, and walk over to see "the lights". On the way over I'm like, "dat way!" because I wanted to go that way which was the other way, away from "the lights".

However. When we rounded the corner you wouldn't believe what we saw. It's on this tiny corner city lot- they have this little 1500 square foot house with a backyard. This GUY has stocked his yard with inflatable Santas, SpongeBobs, Snowmen- and then in the back there is a WINTER WOOOOOOONDERLAND! Look at that photo! There are two choo choo trains that actually work, 25 christmas trees, 30 reindeer, a chorus of angels on the roof, a Santa that dances if you yell at him, 50 Nutcrackers, and tons of other stuff. It was crazy! I freaked out!

Needless to say, I was a bit upset when we left. Dad was asking other Dads (there were a lot of people there, it was bumpin') about their "exit strategy" but they looked at him with blank expressions. I guess I don't really grasp the concept of "We'll be back" or "Santa will be here tomorrow" yet, so I was understandably upset. And vocal. I was screaming and crying "MY SANTA!" on the way home which eventually turned into "MY MOMMY!" and then I couldn't differentiate between the two. I couldn't get past it either. He gave me yogurt and grapes for dinner and put me to bed.

Mah-kus

2006-11-26T06:40:00.000-08:00

We went to Brooklyn to see Markus and Adina for Thanksgiving. Markus listened to a lot of Kraftwerk while we were there. Adina is a little concerned.

Oads!

2006-11-12T16:29:00.000-08:00

Dad went out and bought a 1995 Oldsmobile Cutlass Cruiser SL. Or as I call it- "the Oads!" It is in mint condition- look at this baby! There is a rumbleseat in the way back. Imagine how cool I will be in five years when I pick up all my girlfriends for football practice (Dad keeps saying I will be the first female USC quarterback).

There is a sweet AC Delco AM/FM stereo and mudflaps that say Oldsmobile. Big GM doors that are hard to open, and a V-6 that flies! Dad says he's going to put collector plates on it in ten years. He's a little concerned about getting parts because they don't actually MAKE Oldsmobiles anymore, but he said we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I told him to get some new rims, neon accents, and license plates that say CTLS CRZR.

Ceasa Pleasa!

2006-11-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

Dad and I made ceasar salad last night while Mum was at rehearsal. We took:

4 cooked egg yolks
4 garlic cloves
4 anchovies
one juiced lemon
one cup of parmesan

...and pureed it in the food processor. I pushed the on button. Then we made an emulsifi-CATION with olive oil as the blender was running. Dad added some tabasco and ground pepper and we were done. We kept yelling Ceasa Pleasa! with our awesome Australian accents because it reminded Dad of a title of a recipe for ceasar salad that this Australian pitcher named Graeme Lloyd put in a Milwaukee Brewers' Wives cookbook in 1996. Dad said he bought the cookbook on ebay before Mum banned him for life from buying Brewers stuff online. But then he thought about it for a bit and remembered that Uncle Ben gave it to him.

Halloween

2006-11-04T11:07:00.000-08:00

Ava was a ladybug for Halloween. I was Jose Reyes. I was going to be Carlos Beltran but I'm still thinking about that called third strike in game seven of the NLCS. Jeez.

We gave out candy to trick-or-treaters, but after awhile they started freaking me out. I was able to articulate "no...kids..." to Mum after about a dozen of them rang the doorbell. Mum turned out the front light and stopped answering the door. I heard her say, "I don't think Halloween is Elsa's cup of tea". She's right, it freaks me out.

Dad was happy, because we have about eight bags of candy left over.

Mutton

2006-10-24T18:46:00.000-07:00

Barnyard animals are cute. We went to a farm last weekend and did the whole family-autumnal-afternoon thing. I forgot my MP3 player and was so BORED the whole time.

Sheep are alright but you can't make great coats out of them. Or hot dogs.

Curious George

2006-10-22T16:14:00.000-07:00

Bumpa looks a little tired at reading this Curious George episode for the seventh time. I don't know why! With every read the 1950s sensibility surprises me.

The Man in the Yellow Hat has stolen this monkey, whom he names Curious George from the, as he says- jungle. Is he a zoologist? Scientist? Conservationist? I think not. He has a pith helmet on which leads me to believe that he may simply be a recreational traveler, exploiting the environment and capturing monkeys simply because he finds them "cute". He buys George a bicycle (a bicycle!) with the direction, "stay near the house" as he leaves for work. George is inevitably captured by a roaming band of circus performers who exploit him for his bicycle riding talents.

There is a grand reunion with The Man in the Yellow Hat at the end. Give me a break! George never realizes he is being exploited. I don't think Bumpa realizes it either.

Separated at Birth: Part 2

2006-10-17T17:49:00.000-07:00

"Kiss my Grits!"

Dad keeps saying that when he sees this photo, he thinks I look like Linda Lavin- she played Alice on the 70s series of the same name. You know, the one with Mel (the hilarious Vic Tayback) and Flo, it takes place in a diner, and you can count on Flo saying, "Kiss my Grits!" at least once in every episode. That's Alice on the left in this photo. I don't know-I personally think I look more like a young Mary Kate or Ashley.

Ava

2006-10-11T17:27:00.000-07:00

Ava and I hung out yesterday at her house. We made muffins and ran around. Her mum is really nice.

OK, Dad's gone. Ava! Call me on my cell after 8:00pm. That's when I'm in bed, I'll put it on vibrate so Mum and Dad won't hear. Or text message me and tell me when a good time is to call. Make sure you have that new issue of Us Weekly, you HAVE to read me that interview with Orlando Bloom! He is so hot! Is that really his girlfriend in the photo? Maybe they're just friends. I can't believe he wil be 47 when I'm 18! That is too depressing to even think about. (JK!)

OK G/F. TTYL.

Else

Do the Elsa!

2006-10-07T10:13:00.000-07:00

This is my new dance move- check it out homies! You put your hands on your sides and then rock back and forth. After eight bars you put your hands in the air and you spin around. After that you jump up in the air. Then you do it all again.

It works especially well with David Bowie's song, "Sound and Vision" off his 1977 LP, Low (the one with The Man who Fell to Earth photo on the front). You know when to start spinning when the sweet Brian Eno keyboards come in halfway through the first verse.

So Many Sports...So Little Time!

2006-10-05T16:27:00.000-07:00

Dad is watching a lot of sports these days. The Amazin's are in the postseason and the Bears are 4-0. "What could be better?" he says. I am constantly yelling "Go Mets!" or "Go Bears!" just to get some attention. Sometimes I end up saying "Go Bets!"

What's a girl to do? If you can't beat 'em...join 'em.

4:00:36!

2006-10-02T18:02:00.000-07:00

Mum finished the Wineglass Marathon in 4:00:36 on Sunday. Dad and I raced around like maniacs all morning and got to see her at the start, at 9 miles, 13 miles, and at the finish. The first time I saw her, at 9 miles, I freaked out because she ran by without even stopping! She just waved and blew me a kiss and kept going! I started crying really loud so Dad had to explain that she had to keep going, that she was in a "hurry". But I didn't really understand it until I saw her again at 13 miles.

She was with her running buddies Mark and John. We all met up at the end and saw them cross the finish line! They were weird-looking at the end. They all had wind burnt faces and sour expressions and were really pale and wanted to sit down. Except Mark, he looked pretty normal. But Mum kept saying, "that was really...hard..."and she had this weird silver blanket on. All John did was eat bananas and stare at his legs and feet. And his toes were pretty gnarly.

One-Year Anniversary of my Blog

2006-09-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it's been a year since my first blog! It seems like yesterday when I was wearing my Bears onesie and Dad took a picture and signed me up. 85 posts later and here I am.

There are a few people I need to thank. Well...wait. I guess there are two people. My Mum. And my Dad. So...thanks to those people.

And all of you. My fans! Thanks for all the great feedback and support. It means a lot to us when we hear about something that makes you laugh.

Time Out?

2006-09-25T18:00:00.000-07:00

What do you mean, Dad? I don't need a timeout. I'm really sorry. I know that I wasn't supposed to throw that piece of bagel on the floor. And I didn't throw that tomato- it's squished under my butt.

What? This electrical outlet? The one that I'm slowly moving my finger toward while I am staring at you? I'm not going to put my finger in it and no, I'm not...testing...you.

I don't need a timeout. I just really wanted to pour that container full of water out of the tub and onto your pants, I thought it would be funny. Jeez!

What do you mean I can't run with my shoes untied?

Why can't I pet that stray doggie?

That cord connected to your laptop is cool!

Jimmy!

2006-09-24T06:28:00.001-07:00

We visited Jimmy in Chicago and he made me wear this Cubs hat. That's why I look so upset in the photo. He was fun, though. He has a swinging bachelor pad right in the city. We went to the zoo and then came back and watched Sponge Bob Square Pants and ate lip balm.